Salt Addiction... It's Real... It's Rough... It's ... Damn I Love Salt!

"A man must eat a peck of salt with his friend, before he knows him."
-- Miguel De Cervantes
"Of all the flavors one eats, salt is indispensable..."
-- Chinese proverb
"That's the saltiest thing I ever tasted, and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt."
-- Fry in Futurama
"I had drawn away into the salt,
myself, a shell
emptied of life."
-- Hilda Doolittle, “The God.”

My name is The Queen of the Land, and I am a saltaholic. They say the first step is admitting your problem. Well... I freely admit it! I embrace! I am a slave to it.

I adore salt. If it were a man, I would marry it. It is something I cannot get enough of.

My doctor has strongly recommended that I watch my salt-intake. Oh, I am watching it alright! Seriously though, I have done a much better job of not using the salt shaker. I have actually been excellent.

I can't, however, have pasta or mashed potatoes with out it. It is just un-American. It truly raises pasta and potatoes to another level of the Nirvana spectrum.

I remember growing up, we used to have pasta with butter and salt all the time. It is one of those special dishes that acts as a palate seducer and a therapist all at once. There is something in that combination. Being raised this way, I prefer to have pasta in this fashion. Don't get me wrong, I love a nice tomato sauce on pasta, but I prefer the naked delicacy that is pasta, salt, and butter.

In the days of yore, pasta to our family was first elbow macaroni and then spaghetti. If we were getting real fancy schmancy, it would be ziti. Woohoo! Now, the Prince Consort are big fans of fussili, tortellini, and linguini. Dammit, we will cook anything!

As an adult, I experienced an awful incident with ziti and from that day, I REFUSE to eat it. To put it in a nutshell... I went to dinner at someone's house and was told we were going to have macaroni and when we showed up, it was ziti. I commented on how we weren't having macaroni, but ziti and everyone looked at me like I had just called the mother of the family a fu**ing whore. I was like, what? Ziti is not macaroni and not one person agreed with me. Of course it was macaroni. I thought my head was going to explode. It was them against me! Close to a coup! Where was Paulie Walnuts when I needed a room taken out???

Utto... I just realized... I am a pasta addict too! Cripes!

Ack, all these vices and I still feel like I am not being naughty!

Back to the salt. I love it, I love it, I love it... but I do know that it is very unhealthy for the blue baby to have. The Dowager Queen is also on a limited salt-intake regime, which is helping.

So, my children, send positive, strong support thoughts my way! Stay cool and safe and don't be seduced by the ever sexy Sodium Spectre...