Who Was the Dumbass That Came Up With This?

"I resist change even as I call for it."
-- Mason Cooley
"I'm the boss, you're an idiot. You're the boss, I'm an idiot."
-- Russian army saying

Why do people mess with perfection? I never understood why a company would come out with a "new and improved" product. So, we as a consumer, are not suppose to acknowledge that by using that sort of marketing campaign, the company was basically saying they were selling us crap that we shouldn't have been buying in the first place... that we should, like lemmings, run to purchase this new product and wait for them to let us know that the new item will shortly be declared crap too?

There are many things I have accepted and many changes that I have gone with, but I still have not recovered from the *SNIFF* Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries debacle. They changed the damn formula. Do you think they even asked Captain Crunch what he thought of the change? Bastards!!! Now we have multi-colored and multi-flavored crunchberries. IT SUCKS. It doesn't taste the same! It is very upsetting. I find myself constantly tempted into buying them, but I have remained strong in my boycott!

Anyhoo... back to the point that I really wanted to make. This weekend at the supermarket I was APPALLED to see a new product in the cereal aisle. Chocolate Lucky Charms. Is General Mills nuts? What bonehead came up with this brilliant idea? So, magically delicious isn't good enough!? What is wrong with them? The original Lucky Charms is a perfect melangé of toasted oat cereal with a hint of marshmallow delight. Why screw with this? The cereal industry has recently been on the hotseat for the sugar content and the unhealthy image that a sweet cereal exhibits. Yeah... let's fix that by slathering the toasted oat batter with chocolate. Cripes... Chocolate and cereal just do not go together.

The Queen is not pleased with these lapses of judgment where her cereal is concerned... Correct them toot sweet! And turn all the loops in Apple Jacks back to the original salmon color while you're at it! These "changes" and "improvements" are UN-AMERICAN!

Stay cool and safe and have some Sugar Corn Pops... at least they haven't changed!