Oh My Stars! Columbia TriStar/Sony is Screwing Us!

"Try to control your temper. Remember, 'Peace on earth, goodwill to men' includes witches."
-- Samantha Stephens
"Do not help the quick moneymakers who have delusions about taking possession of classics by smearing them with paint."
-- Frank Capra
"It's not color, it's like pouring 40 tablespoons of sugar water over a roast."
-- John Huston

So, I have finally gotten over my rage at the atrocity the Prince Consort and I experienced on June 25th. As you may or may not know, we are Classic TV and Movie junkies. We turn our noses up in the air to full-screen (the dreaded pan and scan) and demand versions of movies and TV shows in their original form. Where movies are concerned we demand wide-screen and if that means letterbox on our Wega, then so be it. Nothing less will be tolerated. Entertainment in its original and purist form is the only acceptable mode. *SIGH*...

Well, in thinking about writing this entry, I was going to lambaste Best Buy, Coconuts, Wal-Mart, and FYE, but upon reflection they are only dupes of the Evil Columbia TriStar/Sony Empire. The only complaint that I do have with these stores is that the people in charge of their DVD sections need to focus in a common sense way on what true collectors want. They need to be advocates. I guarantee their sales will go up. They should work at not being lemmings drawn into the sea of mediocre, dumbdowned, dumbasses who are essentially movie and Classic TV posers. If you come across anyone who purposefully picks a full screen edition of any movie over wide-screen, quickly avert your eyes and say a quick prayer to St. Orson that he intervene and smite the demons that possess their addled body! I am even ashamed to say that I have a family member who is twisted enough to prefer the full-screen over wide-screen. *SOB* It's very trying. The vigil continues daily for her ...*SNIFF*

I can see that I need to get back to the point of my post... Once again, that tangent must be evacuated...

SO... the Prince Consort and I were all excited to purchase the first season of Bewitched on DVD. We love the show and it must be a part of our ever growing Classic TV collection. As you may know, the first season of Bewitched was made in black and white. These of course are my favorite episodes. There is something about b&w that I adore. I don't know if it is the nostalgia that it brings or if it is the crisp, shadowy film that just seems to have more depth. TV in b&w looks like it is shot better and has a more artistic direction if you ask me.

The Prince and I knew ahead of time that Columbia TriStar/Sony, henceforth known as Satan's Whoremaster, was going to put out, not only the original, pristine black and white version, but also a bastardized colorized version, that would probably blind those who watch it, due to the heresy of it all... We were prepared to not even glance at the colorized version for fear of being turned into a pillar of salt, so we slealthily turned down the new arrivals row at Best Buy, our current crack house, and ... *DRAMATIC PAUSE*... *GULP*, there were nary a b&w version to be had. We both got our hyperventilating breaths under control and asked a sales person where the b&w version was located, thinking that it was just in another section. We were told that there were no b&w version in store, but they were chockful of them at bestbuy.com. I said, "So you don't have them", which the Best Buy Mensa employee said, "Yes we do, they are on-line." I thought, "If I wanted to order the G-D DVD on-line, I would get it somewhere cheaper than bestbuy.com"... I pointed out that I was in the store, so I wanted to purchase in-store... After much verbal tag, I did get the employee to agree that Best Buy did not have them in stock in the store. *GGRR* My mind was reeling... I was furious. How DARE Best Buy take my buying decision away! This is the sort of crap that the ACLU should be focusing on! I went to the manager to share my outrage with him and explain that a real classic TV collector, like myself, who is willing to constantly drop boat loads of money in their store should be sucked up to and accommodated. He was all... "Of course... I understand... yadda, yadda.." This did not assuage my feeling of being violated!

Now the Prince and I were on a quest. By hook or by crook, we were getting this damn DVD. We proceeded to FYE, Coconuts, and Wal-Mart. NONE OF THEM HAD THE BLACK AND WHITE VERSION... Now, I am about to have the biggest conniption that I have ever had. Once we were home and the Prince had doused his ears that I had set on fire with my ranting, I was prepared to go to the Sony site and let them know how these stores were screwing with me and not making their black and white version available. I had visions of Columbia TriStar/Sony, the strong, fierce advocate for Classic TV crushing all those stores that refused to stock in-house the fabulous black and white first season of the perfection that was Bewitched, but I was to be sliced in two by Satan's Whoremaster, for I found that Sony has a store website that one can purchase the DVDs and when I did a search for Bewitched, only the colorized version appeared in the search results. This just topped it. The injustice... the cruelty of it all!....

Aw Jeez...I just tried to recreate my search, so that you all could share in my outrage, but they even laugh at me now... They must have been inundated with complaints, because now when you go through the steps I did on that fateful day, you get to the black and white version. *GGRR*

Well that has certainly taken the wind out of my sails... Well... now I am going to sulk... but remember, they are bastards! They are pushing the colorized version and they must stop!!! "Black and White or Fight!"

Stay cool and safe... and may they have to put every colorized version in the bargain bin and still not break even...