If I try real hard, I'll be able to taste the Peanut Butter

"Food to a large extent is what holds a society together and eating is closely linked to deep spiritual experiences."

-- PeterGeorge FarbArmelagos

"Peanut butter [is] the pâté of childhood."

-- Florence Fabricant

Who here likes food? As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, grocery stores are like crack houses to me. I can actually feel my blood thicken and pump faster and my ears start buzzing when the automatic door opens upon my dainty, graceful entrance into the local market. Food is just one of those glorious, sensual experiences. I have had a love/hate relationship with it for decades. We hold an "on again, off again" love affair constantly. Currently, our relationship has been rendered asunder. I have broken off with the cuisine Casanova. I have had enough... for now.

I am not naïve. Food is like the gorgeous Bad Boy that has made you seen God, not made you think twice about alienating your family, and thought you could change to the perfect lover. It never works out. The Bastard at some point makes you look in the mirror and ask: "You dumbass, what are you doing? He is ruining your life! All he does is make you feel terrible about yourself. How can you slap yourself across the face now that you realize what you have foolishly let your life become for this swine." ... Yes, I have a special obsession with bacon. Bacon is like kryptonite to me. I rationalize it excellently by attributing it to the pigskin valve I have in my heart, rather than my embarrassing weakness.

Some say that people who over indulge in food do so because they have emotional issues. They are using food as a comfort for something that is going on in their lives. It's not really about the food, they don't even really want the food. What a bunch of crap.

My theory is that the people who spout this dribble are those unhappy, patriarchal skinny people who are holier than thou dinks. They are miserable people with miserable lives. They look unhealthy and, damn it, I just want to snap them in two like a stalk of asparagus. HHmmm... even using food for imagery.

I am not advocating overeating. I know it is unhealthy and one needs moderation in their daily life. But I often over indulge because food TASTES GREAT. I am not saying that I have a life with out issues, but I love food because it TASTES GREAT. These damn food Nazis need to be bitch slapped.

I go through phases where food rules my World. I am not proud of it, but at least I recognize it and try constantly to overcome my feeble need.

I am currently in a great place foodwise... no, not The Pillars. I mean healthwise. Since New Years, the Prince Consort and I have been following the Weight Watchers point system plan and now that Lent is here, I have gotten as serious as a heart attack about it. Knowing that I have to see my doctor in May and he expects me to be a bag of dog chow lighter, doesn't play a part at all :-Þ

The Prince Consort has already lost 30 pounds, that he put on post smoking cessation. The fact that he is doing it with me is a huge factor in my current positive mode. I am down 8 pounds so far and, hopefully, this is just the start. I am doing 40 minutes on our stationary bike and am seeing a trainer through work two times a week for the next six weeks. I loathe exercise with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, so this is a big deal for me.

Lent is also a huge help. 40 days is a long time, but at least it is a block of time that I can focus on and deal with. Hopefully it will stick, but I am realistic and take it a day at a time.

I have decided that what may help me though my madness for sweet delights is to share a recipe now and then and close my eyes and pretend I can taste it. I have to say I am a pretty good cook and constantly torture myself by cutting out recipes to try in the future. It's kind of like an alcoholic holding an empty bottle. If you would like to try the recipe, by all means, enjoy... just think of me as you devour it!

Deadly Peanut Butter Fudge

Various Nectars of the Gods:
4 cups white sugar
1 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
1 (12 fluid ounce) can evaporated milk
1 (7 ounce) jar marshmallow creme (I prefer Fluff®)
1 (16 ounce) jar peanut butter (Jif®, the choice of PBaholics)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (You will burn in Hell if you use imitation instead of pure extract)

Poetry In Motion:
Grease a 9x13 inch baking dish. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, brown sugar, butter and evaporated milk. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly, and boil for 7 minutes. (seems like forever, but it is worth it) Remove from heat; lovingly and with great glee, stir in Marshmallow Fluff® until well incorporated and melted. With a Salomé like movement, stir in peanut butter and vanilla until smooth and almost to the point where you would like to just eat it right then, but would be rushed to the ER to tend to the burns in your mouth; spread it in prepared pan like you are creating a priceless work of art. Let cool before cutting into squares.

I know... patience sucks, but it will be well worth it!

Stay cool and safe!