Hello, I am the Queen of the Land and I am a Peanut Butteraholic...

"I wouldn't give a hot-diggety-damn for any sonofabitch who doesn't love American Classic peanut butter!"
-- Peter in Just a Kiss
"The cat won't fit in the toaster. Never mind, I'll make a peanut butter sandwich, where's the blender?"
-- ALF
"Who would guess that a peanut butter and bacon sandwich is so good it will bring tears to your eyes? It does. Add lettuce, and you have a complete meal, with every known daily nutrient needed by the average 200 pound man."
-- Roger Welsch, 'Diggin' In and Piggin' Out'

We have been out of peanut butter for a couple weeks. It is really getting to me. The Prince Consort and I absolutely love peanut butter. I more so than he... He is a Chocojunkie... Sad but true.

I am trying to curb my gluttonous ways, so I have purposefully NOT bought peanut butter... I have a feeling this weekend that will change. Do people get DTs from cold turkeying peanut butter? I am pretty sure they do... Yeah... *GULP* They do. I gotta get that monkey back on my back.

I love everything peanut butter. Cookies, cakes, fudge, even Thai dishes. I know I have the problem. I am trying to work through it... yeah right... I got me a PB jones on the size of the Sears Towers in Chicago.

The ultimate peanut butter indulgence to me is a Fluffernutter. Anyone who has no idea what I am talking about, do this... get out of the chair, step away from the computer, and bow down, because you will worship me like an awesome Goddess when I impart what it is... You take two slices of bread. Spread one slice with marshmallow Fluff... not that marshmallow Creme crap from Kraft... and the other slice with peanut butter. Put the slices together, take a bite, and let the Elysian delights overpower you. Cripes, I think my heart is racing just thinking about it...

I have to warn you, as good as you think it is, it is nothing compared to the perfect Fluffernutter that our next door neighbor used make when I was just a little princess. The wonderful Mrs. Gregoire, not only babysat me, but made the absolute PERFECT Fluffernutter. I still to this day have no idea how she did it. I have never been able to replicate it and, believe me, I have tried thousands of times. She created a flawless melangé of heavenly taste that I pine for often. Unfortunately, Mrs. Gregoire is no longer with us, but that sweet memory with be with me till my cold body is in the grave. Boy do I miss her!

Anyhoo... I am going to end now... and remember my children, "Choosy Queens choose Jif!"

Stay cool and safe!