The Glamorous Gimp

"She went ass over tea kettle."
-- The Old Fox
"It is said that he once had a sore toe that so annoyed him that he went to the woodpile and chopped it off with an axe, quoting the Scripture, 'If thy foot offend thee, cut it off.'"
-- Anonymous

Put a bunch of crap on the floor and the picture to the right was pretty much me on Sunday night. I tripped and fell, but good!

Since then, I have been having a nice little pity party for myself and the big ole toe on my left foot. Unfortunately, the rest of my bastard family have been unsympathetic!^* That is, except for the Prince Consort... Where are the flowers? Where were smelling salts when the thunderous sound from my falling was probably heard next door? No... only my dearest Prince cared enough to inquire with a voice enthused with sincerity. I haven't even mentioned the cut on my hand or the scrape on my ankle, but don't worry... *SNIFF* ... I'll be fine.

I don't think it is broken, but it hurts like a son of a bitch. I have been keeping my foot elevated since the tragic tripping took place, so today was the first day I gave it a test run. I was luckily able to fit my foot in a sneaker (I couldn't yesterday), so I figured it was a go. Oh... It was a go alright, right to the "House of Shards of Pain" . Cripes! I am giving it a couple more days and if the lovely mauve, violet, and periwinkle colors don't turn into a beige, goldenrod, and burnt umber, I will have to breakdown and have it checked out.

I am confident in my recuperative powers though!

In regards to the particulars of the sad Sunday shenanigans... I will not discuss the gory details to protect the guilty... I plan on pulling that Ace out when I need it :Þ

Stay cool and safe!

^* I just got off the phone with the Dowager Queen and she asked how my toe was, so she is back in my good graces and exempt from the above "bastard family" comment.